I decided to vlog again after quite some time this week, which you can check out here if you'd like. It was fun, and I enjoy having something to look back on, so I have decided to create an accompanying blog post too, with the nuances that can't quite be captured on video by my amateur hands.
Monday
On Monday I had a 9:00AM, which sucks for most people, but especially me because that is usually the time I get to bed. I powered through and bought a peach flavoured Monster from the (very overpriced) Nisa on my way to campus. I found it sickly the first time I tried it, but it's grown on me. It reminds me of my favourite, sadly discontinued, peach Candy Kitten gummies. I'm not too fond of sweets, but those were delicious. Anyway. I got to campus and my hair had poofed up ridiculously because of the (very light) humidity.
My Gothic Lit seminar was fun, I really enjoy the subject so engagement is easy, and it almost makes the ungodly early hour worthwhile. My dissertation is also about the Gothic, so it's useful in that sense too. Maybe I'm extra bitter because I'm so passionate about it, but I have to rant a tiny bit. We were discussing propaganda art from the French Revolution and how it reflects the Gothic, which is something I'd never thought about before and soooo fascinating. Anyway, I turn around and this girl is pasting the images into ChatGPT asking it to analyse the pictures???? GIRL USE YOUR BRAIN???? It makes me so mad not just because of the ethical issues around AI (which is outside the scope of this essay) but also because so many people who are genuinely interested in the module weren't able to get in, plus it's unfair to your peers to expect them to engage with AI slop in an academic setting. Also just.... how are you this stupid? Is your brain so rotten you can't look at a drawing depicting cannibalism and say "yeah that's gothic because____"???? It's one thing when tech bros consider LLMs as the second coming of Christ (which is also stupid bc it's just a glorified but worse Google) but people tainting the humanities with this shit breaks my heart. I personally love using my brain and being challenged, and I don't understand why you're in an academic institution if you don't feel the same way.
Okay, sorry. Rant over. Anyway, the girl I was discussing with ended up asking me for my notes for the next workshop because she wouldn't be present and I said "sure" except I uh... don't really take notes? So I had to commit to actually doing that, which is mutually beneficial so idm. After class I decided to study for a bit on the school computers, except I do not feel comfortable on any device but my own and that made me less productive than I could have been, but whatever. I also journalled for a bit, which I'm trying to make a daily thing. My friend got there after an hour or so, which made me even less productive academically, but we discussed our personal writings and just hung out so it was no less valuable. After he left, I still had another hour to kill until my next class (film screening), so I edited some of my vlog. I used to really enjoy CapCut for its ease of access and simplicity, but it's started putting some features like noise reduction behind a paywall, so I think I'll have to find another software soon. Anyway, my film screening was at 3PM, and by that time I was reallyyyy struggling to keep my eyes open, even with the help of my energy drink. It's honestly a miracle I managed to get home somehow.Oh, right. The film was Shadows (1959) which I think probably would have been interesting if I wasn't slipping in and out of consciousness the whole time.
Tuesday
I had no classes today but still woke up early for some reason >:( This will unfortunately be true of the whole week leaving me utterly exhausted by the end of it. I decided to make use of the time by heading to King's Manor because I absolutely cannot work at home. Is the library on campus half the distance and far more comfortable? Perhaps, but King's Manor Library is prettier so I infinitely prefer working there, even if it is perpetually freezing. The walk there was so much fun, it was slightly sunny, birds were singing, flowerbuds had started to spray and there was even a rainbow in the sky. The spirit of spring was everywhere. (Spoiler: this would be short lived.) I was there for only around 2 hours, mostly spent reading and analysing The Monk. I really enjoyed it; it's so funny and has all the themes I love in a text (corruption, desire, religion.) I will say the parts about Lorenzo and his mates bored me a little but anyway.
The screen was beginning to hurt my eyes so I decided to take a break and just wander around the shops for a bit because it's fun. Went to Boots and spent ages testing out different perfumes, not with the intention of buying, but just because I enjoy it. From what I remember, I didn't like Cacharel's Lou Lou and found the bottle highly misleading, found the KayAli cherry and candy perfumes too juvenile for the price tag, thought La Vie Est Belle was boring, Very Good Girl generic, Yardley's rose perfume reminded me of talcum powder and older relatives, and I liked Devotion but couldn't decide whether I would prefer to wear it or eat it.
I got lunch soon after, and hung out on the steps of the Minster for a bit, journalling and reading. I'm studying Dracula for my dissertation right now, and thoroughly enjoy analysing it. There was a school trip from abroad with quite young children, maybe primary school age? It was getting quite cold by that point, so I went to Pret, where I ordered a hot chocolate and slice of cheesecake, and worked on my novel for a bit.
Wednesday
Had another early morning class today, so no sleep for me! I got to watch the sun rise though, which was nice. Sunrises and sunsets are always most vibrant in winter. No sign of Spring today though, it was grey and muddy and wet and the hems of my jeans got awfully soaked. I'm used to it now, and I really ought to buy a pair that fits me to prevent this but I do not want to. I had a film seminar about Kenneth Anger, where we watched Kustom Kar Kommandos, which is the most sensual thing I've everrrr seen. Honestly, I felt like I was looking at something I shouldn't be. There was an Urban Outfitters sample sale in the building too, which I checked out after class, and nothing struck my fancy, though the prices were pretty good. I planned on studying a bit before leaving home, but ended up playing Howrse instead lol. When I finally left, it was hailing fast and hard, which was not too fun in my weather inappropriate outfit of a thin cotton sweatshirt and jeans.
Thursday
Another day of no class! Don't be fooled, my weeks aren't always like this. Anyway, I decided to get some groceries. Initially I walked all the way to ASDA, found nothing, and walked further to Morrisons. I bought ramen, apples, bananas, dates, and fruit yoghurt. I was planning on walking around town a bit more, but my bag was heavy so I took the bus home. I watched an episode or two of Suits and fell asleep. When I woke up I realised I had an hour to realistically get to the vampire party, so I quickly refreshed my makeup and sprayed some fake blood on my face before leaving. It was fun! I'm always wary of large group events because I'm very much an introvert bordering on antisocial, but I think it does just comes down to who the people are.
Friday
ANOTHER 9:00AM. But I persevere. The fake blood had stained my face AND given me an allergic reaction so that's fun! My class was a workshop on The Monk and I did really enjoy it, especially the close analysis of the ending. It's so rich and full of Biblical and mythological references and I eat that shit uppp. Also it was ludicrously violent, like The Boys level of violent, which is always fun. After class I went to grab a snack from (once again, overpriced Nisa.) I've really been craving Turkish delight lately, so I bought the Fry's version, which was close enough I suppose. Met up with a friend again for a bit before another film seminar. Then I grabbed coffee (peach iced tea) with another friend before going home.
Saturday
Died of exhaustion.
Sunday
Really annoyed because I wanted to sleep in but woke up at 7:00AM for no reason whatsoever. I also had a headache so I mostly did nothing for most of the morning before leaving to go to town in the afternoon because I was going to meet up with a friend. Sniffed some perfumes again at Boots. Nothing special to report on that front. Then I went to HMV because I felt like I deserved a CD for all the early mornings I've suffered. Couldn't find most of my wishlist, though I did get excited for a second because I misread a brand as Kronos. Ended up getting Pretty Hate Machine because it was cheaper than online. Then I met my friend and we went to the weeb store. Looked around a bit and I didn't recognise half the anime. There was barely any Black Butler or Death Note merch which I found insulting, frankly. Anyway, the Totoro cafe they've been advertising so much WASN'T EVEN OPEN, so we went to a Korean place in the Shambles. I love that restaurant, and ordered some tteokbokki and fries. We wandered around a bit after eating and ended up back at Boots to look at makeup, followed by a visit to Waterstones which largely consisted of making fun of every book there. Then we went to Black Sheep coffee because I like their matcha and it was great! Went home, had dinner, watched Suits, passed out.
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Mood:Exhausted Listening to: Dad Vibes by Limp Bizkit Reading:Dracula Watching:Suits Playing:Nothing Eating:It's Ramadan... Drinking:See above.
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