I'll Start on Monday
23-04-2025
The fall from grace isn’t instantaneous.
Ivory tower crumbles little by little and you don’t even notice yourself slip. Clawing your way back up takes ten times as long.
It’s not as easy when your only view is of what you’ve lost, what you could have been.
Why take a step when all it does is remind you how far you have to go to become even half the person you once were?
I tell myself this is a temporary stasis, that this is not me.
But are you really the best parts of yourself when they were so short-lived? I don’t think so.
To become her I have to be her, but to put effort into something that was once nature is so shameful I’d rather rot.
And so I have been, waiting for things to fall into place, the tendriled prince rescue me. I know he’ll never come. I only deserve salvation once I’m out of the state I need it from.
But it’s easier to place the burden of responsibility on someone else.
I need to change.
I think I’ll start on Monday.
