Everyone comes to our house, including *those people*. Meg becomes wise to our grandmother and I find an ally in her. We have a taxidermy pigeon and it makes me sad. It should be alive and flying. There is a room full of pure white swan wings. They should all be alive. We cover half the garage in plastic with a little cut out door. We are watching a movie and Uncle Shell asks us to order pizza. Lil does something sly. My mother has made biriyani, I think it it mushroom and eat it but it’s chicken. I have shopping but need to hide it in case they see and ask for it.
04-01-2024
People were buying planes to have parties in. I wanted a cat to follow me at night. Someone had a Lamborghini and asked someone else go pay them for having to park it in Gants Hill because it’s so stressful.
03-01-2024
I had to stay at Kato's house until my train came. The parents were really weird and judgemental. They didn’t like the contents of my suitcase and would not let me leave.
02-01-2024
I ask my mother for shampoo, she doesn’t want me to wash my hair but gives it to me. It is a big bottle that smells heavily of ginger. I am holding the shower head towards me and turn it on, but it twists and soaks the walls. My mother is angry. I explain to her what happened, but she doesn’t want to hear it. She tries to sign me up to be a nun online. The application form is racist/eugenicist. I am going to a flat of monster high dolls. On the way, a little girl is looking out of the window. Her mother pulls her away and hits her. I am disgusted. One of the flats in the monster high store is a Chanel store. I do not go in. I am walking down campus stairs with Shirin. I have not spoken to Shirin since year 11. She references a movie called Sweet and Sour and compares me to one of the characters. She tells me my niceness is a facade and I am actually a horrible person. I am offended. She is correct. I am a boy getting chased by a murderous priest. The chase leads us to an empty house. He stabs me or I stab him. He is also a PE teacher. Later he dies (not because of me) and I celebrate it on the bus with a friend who is also someone else. He shows his sketchbooks to people. They keep coming like Russian dolls. M tells P she doesn’t want to welcome his family in her home anymore. She will take them out for dinner instead. I am an observer. I am having a conversation with a girl who says the word Daddy. A mother and daughter walking behind us are heavily offended. She tells them she’s talking about the Holy Father. She is telling the truth. They want to know what church she goes to. The girl does not go to church. The daughter asks whether she goes to [SPECIFIC NIGERIAN CHURCH] or listens to [SPECIFIC NIGERIAN MUSIC] because she has a photo of someone similar looking there. The girl’s internal monologue reveals that this music genre/church is associated with sins of the flesh. She suddenly finds herself attracted to the daughter. She tests her luck and says she does, but only for school. The daughter gives her a disgusted look.
17-05-2025
Stuff happens which leads to me going to a very busy bank. It turns into an airport. I get on a plane with Kato. As soon as we sit down, I start feeling incredibly lightheaded and know something is very wrong. The flight attendants start collecting our devices and I know I'm going to die so I ask Kato if I can use his phone to text my mother. The flight attendant has reached us, so Kato tells her he will relinquish the phone in a second. which makes her madso we rush to put my number in, but its the calculator app. Kato keeps getting it wrong and the flight attendant is coming back, so I take the phone and manage to send a message, but the message is actually an unreadable AI image with random letters in red. Well that was for nothing. I'm about to pass out when I notice the flight attendant is actually a giant alien and the inside of the plane is made out of flesh. Obviously, I'm shocked and wonder if nobody else is seeing this. They aren't, only Kato and I can because I accidentally tripped up the perception filter. The perception filter is a giant eyeball embedded into the flesh wall with a flap of skin covering it. The flap shifted, making the eye visible so the filter turned off. Then I realise the reason she collected everyone's phones in a giant bin bag is because she is a shapeshifter who takes on the qualities of whatever she touches. The gas that was making me lightheaded has knocked everyone else out. She starts momologuing about how public transport is one of humanity's greatest achievements and uses the secret railways saving Jewish people in WW2 as an example. She reveals she wants to take ALL public transport to her home planet because there is "so much food all in one place." Then the dream shifts and shows the flight attendant as an adolescent. She is black instead of white now and has a girlfriend who she loves very much. She writes poetry bout her and lives an idyllic life until the girlfriend walks out on her because the flight attendant can't be physically affectionate due to her shapeshifting. She tries to go after her girlfriend but is slowed down because there’s a lot of cars when she’s trying to cross the street.
13-04-2025
I keep dreaming in code. People and conversations are messy green on black lines of CSS and HTML. I am pressured for time doing my dissertation last minute.
06-04-2025
I get a text from a Discord bot saying I get an achievement for swearing 68 times in a row. I've just been speaking as I normally do the whole time.
08-03-2025
My sister is having some sort of problem so we go to my old primary school to figure out what to do. I think to myself everything is so small now that I’m an adult. I’m the classroom an assistant is working with a kid and the teacher says that they don’t like to differentiate so the kids don’t lose respect and I think back to my own primary school days when it was very clear that the assistant was an assistant. That kid is having the same issues as my sister and they give us some advice about it that I don’t remember. My family was being chased by vampires, but not the fun kind. Hid myself in a bathroom stall with way too low doors. I had a cut on my finger which started scabbing and bubbling and growing. Pulled it off and washed it in the sink and it was a finger? I’m like oh that’s sick I want to preserve this now and put it on a shelf in my room and I keep asking my dad how to, but he won’t give me a proper answer. I ask if formaldehyde would work and he keeps saying it’s dangerous and he can’t get it for me because he’d get in trouble. We go to some relative or family friend’s house who is also a doctor. I think I give his daughter my pink Coach bag. I ask the doctor about preservation and whether alcohol would work. He won’t answer my question but tells me that back in his day they used to use a 2l bottle of cologne . I’m like wow I can’t believe they sell 2 litres of cologne? Anyway fascinating but not useful to me how do I preserve my finger?
28-02-2025
Jeff Kinney released a new book and everyone was starting to suspect he was going insane. He was driving past us refusing to comment, we saw a dog flying in the air and realised it was plummeting and asked him to save it but he just shrugged and left. The dog fell with a really loud crash and we thought it was over. Then it emerged from the ground and started shapeshiftinf between a car and a dog and being very affectionate. So we were like omg Angel/Princess (forgot what her name was oops) come follow us let’s take you to the vet. So if follows us and there’s a lot of puddles and we go through all the clean ones so Angel can get cleaned up a bit. We’re also barefoot and wash our feet in the clean puddles.
18-02-2025
Okay this one is kind of hilarious, not for the subject matter but as a reflection of my psyche and priorities lmao. I'm Natalie from Yellowjackets and I'm trying to code a website and it's not cooperating and I am so stressed out over it. This is 100% because of the grief my TV and digicam pages gave me. I dream about HTML tags on a weekly basis now it seems hahaha.
14-02-2025 CW: Self Harm
I posted a picture of both my arms sliced up with vertical lines from my wrists to inner elbows, freshly bleeding, (I have never done either of these things in real life and have no idea where it came from) on my Instagram story. Clearly I came to my senses and rushed to delete it, but Opal had already viewed it. I think I was going to tell her it was scratches because of my eczema (which I also do not have), but realised that was ridiculous and didn't. She texted me, but it was about her job instead. I only have one packet of Tesco's Hot and Sour instant soup packets left because I drink them two at a time (this is true irl) My sister asks if she can take it. I say yes.
31-01-2025
Adonis and his girlfriend have both changed their profile pictures on Instagram. I realise they have blocked me. I think it is because I have been blogging about them and they found out.