Hey Ashwin,

Do you remember me? I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.

Even now, on the rare occasion all of us get together, I find myself hoping you’ll be there too, though you never are. We wouldn’t even speak. At most we’d exchange an awkward, gruff “hello” if we couldn’t avoid it. You’d be on your phone, and I’d be reading a book, sneaking glances, hoping you’d notice my earrings or my T-shirt (I wear my heart on my sleeve, after all) and remember how much we had in common. Maybe you’ve moved on from all of that. You’re an adult now after all, but I can’t help but cling to such things.

The last time we spoke (barely) was a solemn affair. I was sat on the end of that bed, silently watching you play some aviation videogame, feeling in my bones that things were irrevocably different now. She was there too. I wonder if she ever talked to you about me, what lies she conjured. I wonder if you’re still close. I’m not jealous, just lonely. You had nothing to do with the chasm so I wish you’d cross over it every once in a while.

But it’s too late now. Too many years have passed to reroot a bud yanked out of the soil before it even formed a stem. I keep looking back to a place I cannot go, and I know seeing you again would not change a thing. But we had some real good times, and you left a mark on my soul deeper than you’ll ever know.

Missing you,

Shiny Dolphin